A good start, to be sure. I am obviously fond of love poems, but it is rare to see one that really feels fresh, and you do seem to have done something interesting with the genre.

Ironically, the message "tonight is different" is the least different and least fresh part of the poem. Different from what? More to the point, does this night need to be compared to anything to justify the poem? The miracle of lovers together is not the newness of what happens. It is ancient, timeless, and magically fresh regardless of how often it is repeated.

But the rest of your descriptive language is wonderful. "Static tongue," "backseat blossoms," "sunless liquid sky," "lilac lips," -- these are nicely turned phrases. I like the earthiness of "crawling" too.

The friction of drifting continents is also mucho cool. I thought you might have done more with that tectonic image; it may be the best and newest idea in the whole piece, and probably a rich enough metaphor to work into a complete poem all on its own. That's a bigger deal than may be immediately obvious; the odds are pretty long against saying ANYTHING truly new in a love poem.

Anyway, good job. Certainly deserving of a . You are obviously a lover of words and images, and one who finds delight in playing with them to find new ways to say things that are worth saying. In other words, a poet.

--
Ed
"If you're not confused, you're misinformed." - Tom Clancy
The Trouble with a Love Poem

Thank you very much for the thought you put into your comment. Thanks for the favorite as well.

I especially appreciate the constructive criticism; often I worry that people will be blind to the actual words of poetry--of the delicious marriage of connotations and denotations, the thematic consistency. Certainly the overall feeling that poem imbues within the reader is important, but it is these things which make it possible! Anyway, I don't mean to rant, I just want you to know that I do appreciate your critique, and I agree with what you said about the repetition of "different" and what it implies.

Hmm. Now I'm considering doing a poem focusing on said tectonic image when it comes time to generate poetry for my portfolio. I appreciate all the inspiration and the kind words.